Changes

[Note: I know how seeing titles like this can automatically mean boring to a reader, especially if there aren't any pictures in the post. I won't be hurt if you don't read the entire entry, but please scroll to the last two paragraphs if that's the only thing you choose to read. Thanks!]

I've been thinking a lot about change lately. It's interesting how things are always changing--for better or for worse--whether we want them to or not. We have complete control over some changes (usually the ones we want or like), and other changes we feel like spectators watching our lives flash before our eyes. These changes are usually the harder ones to cope with: ones where we have no control and all we can do is trust in the Lord and move forward or stand back and cry.

Obviously, marriage is a huge change--a very positive one. I am very happy right now with my decision to marry Richard and spend eternity with him. But it still has made me pause about life a lot and other things happening around me. Meeting Richard, falling in love, getting engaged, and getting married were obviously very positive changes. And despite not having any control over the timing of it all, I did make choices along the way that resulted in the change of lifestyles for both of us (going from single to married). AND now that I'm married and feeling a little more settled, I've been reflecting a lot more on other areas of my life.

In 23 days, my internship with the Joseph Smith Papers will end.
I'm no longer a citizen of Oregon, but of Utah.
Some of my best friends and family have moved away, resulting in seeing them less.
My name has changed. And my signature.
I'm in a new ward, new apartment complex, new city.
I'm looking for a new job.
I'm trying to eat healthier, get more sleep, and exercise more.
And I'm a wife.

I can't necessarily go down the list and say whether each thing is a good or bad change (well, having friends and family move away can be depressing, and I LOVE being a wife). Funny how when you list things happening in your life like I just did, it makes things clearer. Some of these changes I control, others I don't. But my attitude towards these changes is in my hands.

Interesting how that works.

Change = good or bad depending on our perspective. And whether we're looking for work or moving to a new city or dealing with the loss of a loved one, we can embrace the change--no matter how hard it is--and continue to see the beauty of life, or we can let it slowly eat at us until it's harder to count our blessings every day. Obviously, no one is perfect at this; I'm writing this because I'm not good at it. But I know I can get better at seeing the good in all kinds of change--the big or small. Trusting in the Lord is always the key, as well as understanding that He has a much bigger, better plan in store for us than we have for ourselves.

So my life may be completely different than it was a year ago, but the changes along the way have brought me where I am today. Moving to Utah last August was tough for me (as you may remember from my fall 2010 posts), but that change led me to meeting Richard. Getting a minor in editing wasn't ideal, but it led me to an ideal internship which has made me more aware of publishing, as well as given me a greater knowledge and stronger testimony of Joseph Smith and the early history of the Church. Now it's ending and I'll be back in the pool of unemployed looking for work, but I'll have more time to focus on my writing, as well as read a few books that have been on my list for months. I truly believe there's always something positive to look for in change, despite the difficulty in finding it--especially in the moment. But it's there, even if we don't know why or how.

Speaking of changes, there will be some new changes with blogging shortly. Richard and I have a new blog, which is currently in the works (I'll share the URL soon!). And the blog you're currently reading (or possibly a new blog with an updated URL) will go back to being a blog about writing and reading and publishing--my author's blog--once again, especially as I try to focus on meeting some new writing goals.

So the question is, who reads my blog (if anyone)? And would you be interested in following mine and Richard's family blog once it's ready to go? I'm planning on making it private once we're in the swing of things and keeping this one public. So let me know if you're interested! I'd love to continue sharing my thoughts and feelings (and pictures!) with you as I experience more changes in the weeks and months to come.